So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
