then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
