life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
