You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize