Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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