I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
