So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize