My brain says no but my pants say off.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your penis caused this!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
