So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
