I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
