After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
