And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
