Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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