i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
