You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
