ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
