the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
