Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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