I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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