FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
