I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
