Only a mothe r could love this liver
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize