Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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