she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
