The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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