he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's like heaven, but drunker
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
