: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
