Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
