just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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