i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
