sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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