Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
