Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
