never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize