Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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