I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
