I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
