I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
