Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
