I don't remember. Are we still dating?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
