Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize