I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
