My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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