Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
