after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well you can't waste a boner
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize