once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
