i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
