FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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