she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
