It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
