we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she looked like the before picture.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize