i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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