Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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