We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
