Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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