just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
