I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
