chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
