I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
