the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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